The In-N-Out Story

Our new digs in Arizona are just around the corner from an In-N-Out Burger. Also right around the corner from a Panda Express, Chick-Fil-A, and other tasty-smelling places, but it’s the In-N-Out that gets my attention. When the breeze is just right you can smell it from my backyard. Combine that with the fact that the bosses like a good burger and I smell a recipe for Whigle Joy! The bosses had never tried an In-N-Out before moving here so they were as eager as I was to give it a go. And since we live within walking distance, why not make a pack outing of it? Great idea, says me.

We all leash up and walk over to the In-N-Out. It’s a beautiful day! The air smells of grilled meat and onions. I might just be the happiest dog on the planet. The Boss Man goes in to place our order (I ordered a Double Double). The Boss Ma’am looks for somewhere we can sit. Hm. There are two outdoor seating areas, one by the drive-through where a group of young men are sitting, feeding the pigeons. Next to us…wait a minute! Pigeons! I love pigeons!! Let’s go see the pigeons!! We can’t go see the pigeons? We should bark at the pigeons!! Barkbarkbarkbarkbark!!

And that’s pretty much how that went. So we go to sit at the tables next to us where an older couple is sitting and the lady is giving us the stink-eye. Really? You’re eating burgers at a fast food joint that’s basically in a mall parking lot. What kind of ambiance did you expect? I think I’m livening it up a bit, myself. So we sit. And guess what?? The pigeons come to us!! So now the bosses are trying to eat and all three of us are pulling to get at the pigeons. The Boss Ma’am has the (admittedly good) idea to give us food to distract us. This earns her more eye-stinkin’ from the lady at the table next to us. But soon the Ma’am is out of burger to share (they evidently forgot my order) and is trying to distract me with fries. No contest. I’m not a big fan of fries and I’ll take a pigeon any day. Barkbarkbarkbark!!

Finally the bosses give up on the meal. They gather what’s left to throw it away when Spring notices there are pigeons in the parking lot too! And since the bosses are a little distracted, what with their hands full of trash and me and Maebe pulling in one direction and Spring in another…Spring makes a break for it. She tears off into the parking lot (just a few feet from two busy streets) chasing a pigeon. The pigeon flies off and she stops. The Boss Man dashes after her. Another pigeon lands and she is off again. This is as hilarious as it sounds and could probably go on forever but a very nice lady with quick reflexes grabs Spring’s leash and reels her in. (No pigeons were harmed in this incident.)

The bosses are horrified. Mortified. Embarrassed beyond description. Me, I’m having a grand old time! Burgers! Pigeons! Bird chases! Let’s do it again! Today! Tomorrow! Every day! What fun! But the bosses say no. Never. They say we are banned for life. (Although I never actually saw anyone from management say so…I think they might be making that up.) They say that someday when they look back on it and think, it wasn’t so bad, maybe we can go for burgers again, that they will tell themselves, Never Again.

No more burgers is a tragedy, but not as bad as it could be. We can go to Chick-Fil-A!!


  1. Kiko says:

    Lyle, the solution is obvious. Just tell the Bosses that the next time they go, they should take you BY YOURSELF. Two of them, one of you. As it should be anyway but that is beside the point. Really, it is quite simple. And after all, it WAS Spring who caused most of the ruckus. How can they possibly blame you?!?

    • SuperLoo says:

      Great idea!! I like how you think, Kiko! Lyle’s Special Day–I could go for burgers by myself, go to the park by myself,…life without grrrls would be sweet. Say, you wouldn’t want a couple more sisters, would you?

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